technical cunning person

September 24, 2011

The Stuff of Car Nightmares

Yes, it’s been a year since I posted anything. Having a full-time job running LSXtv and Corvette Online will do that. But today is a special occasion because I have something so awesome that I must take the time to share it with you.

If there is a hell for cars, the Hammel Red Giant must feature prominently in it:


Yes, those are engine blocks. How about an entire car?

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September 6, 2010

Gino DiSimone is a Political Genius

Here’s what you need to know:

1) Eugene “Gino” DiSimone is running for governor in Nevada.
2) DiSimone wants to help solve Nevada’s budget problems.
3) DiSimone has something he calls the “free limit plan” in which you could get your car inspected, purchase a transponder, then call in and pay a $25 fee to buy the right to drive up to 90mph on designated highways.

I have no idea what the rest of his politics are like, but he got this one right…

Also, he has an awesome mustache.

www.ginoforgovernor.com

July 2, 2010

This DOES have a million views

Filed under: Technology, Videos

Well, 1.7 million as of the moment I am typing this, actually. And it deserves it, because it’s hilarious. At least it is to me, because I have an HTC Evo…


Turns out that Best Buy wants to fire the guy who made it. He didn’t mention Best Buy anywhere in it, or in the comments - the only way you know he works for Best Buy is because those douchebags want to keep him from exercising his First Amendment rights in a way that ONLY reflects badly on them because of their own decision to make an issue of it.

June 23, 2010

How does this not have a million views already?

If you needed proof that car salesmen have no shame, here it is… The South Tacoma Mazda rap.


June 7, 2010

Paging Captain Sully…

Matt Hall is a pilot in the Red Bull Air Race series. He is also both lucky and good. In Detroit, he managed to save his plane (and possibly his life) after G-stalling and brushing the water. If this doesn’t amaze you, please sever your internet connection because there’s nothing on it that will.


June 3, 2010

Dragracing 101 - The Tree and Staging

Part II of the series introduces the first-time drag racer to the mysteries of the Christmas tree and staging beams:


May 27, 2010

Dragracing 101 - Tech Inspection

First in (hopefully) a series of how-to videos aimed at the first-time drag racer. Enjoy!


May 24, 2010

Nature Abhors a Vacuum…

Filed under: Car Stuff

… and when you get a way to carry more stuff to the track, pretty soon you start carrying more stuff to the track!

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May 20, 2010

Bottle Transfer, Sans-Pump

Filed under: Car Stuff, Videos

If the nitrous nightmares page didn’t scare you off, here’s a little instructional video showing how to move nitrous oxide from one bottle to another using nothing but your freezer.


Be sure to click on over to YouTube to watch it in full 1080p!

May 17, 2010

Nostalgia Win!

Filed under: Technology, Videos

So I was cleaning out my garage, going through a few boxes my parents had insisted I either take home with me or throw away, and I found one of the Best Things Ever, the Coleco Electronic Quarterback:

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Still in the original box, with the instruction manual no less…

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Better yet, all it took was a fresh 9-volt battery, and it fired right up. WARNING: If you are over 40 and male, do not play this video unless you are prepared for a wave of nostalgia (and potential irresponsible eBay bidding).


I don’t recall exactly whether I got this for Christmas in 1978 or at some point after that, but any way you slice it, this is a 30-year-old game that still works perfectly. I wonder if a PSP will hold up as well…

May 5, 2010

Bad Idea Theater: Nine-Volt Edition

My dad has a problem with hoarding old batteries. He goes as far as to hide big ziplock bags full of mostly-dead AA cells from my mom that will “still work just fine” for a few more hours in one of the many ancient transistor radios he has. Fortunately for him (and my long-suffering mother), there aren’t a lot of things around the house that use 9-volt batteries. It’s hard to connect a lot of AA’s together, but those 9-volts…. they’re clearly INTENDED to be snapped plus-to-minus in long chains of arbitrary length.

Once you start adding up those batteries, though, you quickly take something that, by itself, is safe to lick (don’t deny it. You’ve done it.) and turn it into something life-threatening…


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April 15, 2010

Nitrous Nightmares

I’m between assignments today, so I though I’d poke around YouTube and bring you a few choice nitrous oxide-fueled* fires…

Up first, we have SuperMullet to the rescue!


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March 7, 2010

The Rainy Day Craft Box

Filed under: Car Stuff, Technology

Too wet outside today to play, so I stayed inside and did some arts and crafts…

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First up were carriers for some armor plate my buddy Greg had laying around. Seems that he bought a bunch of cutoffs for a song, and then had no idea what to do with them. Roughly a foot square, they’re aluminum plate backed by Kevlar, topped by E-glass.

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March 1, 2010

WMS Wideband Oxygen Sensor

Filed under: Car Stuff, Videos

As part of my ongoing series of projects with the theme, “inappropriately hardcore parts for a V6 Mustang,” I just installed a WMS wideband oxygen sensor…

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The system uses a Bosch sensor module and an incredibly compact control/display unit, and is about as easy to install as an oxygen sensor can be.

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February 16, 2010

Hot or Not?

Filed under: Car Stuff, Videos

Because Mustang Maddness is the read-headed stepchild in PSCA, we always end up running first round of quals and eliminations early in the morning. As a result, I’ve often wished for something to supplement my Zex 12VDC bottle heater to get the temperature and pressure up quickly. I’ve known about phase-change heating pads for a while, and finally got around to trying one out. Observe:


UPDATE:

I’ve worked a deal with the manufacturer, and if you want an 8x12 inch pad of your very own, $30 will get one delivered to your mailbox anywhere in the US, shipped Priority Mail insured.

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But wait! There’s more! While supplies last*, I’ll also throw in a Non-Slip Dash Pad, absolutely free!

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Click the button to order… And no, I have no idea why the button is all huge, so don’t ask.


Quantity - Buy three or more and save!




*Supplies should last forever. I have like a thousand of these things. Cheapass WalMart sunglasses and dashboard not included.

January 21, 2010

Spring Comes Early

Filed under: Car Stuff

Well, not exactly… I’ve had a pair of Eibach Drag Launch front springs sitting on the shelf forever, and although the rears have been on my 2004 Mustang V6 for over a year, I hadn’t gotten around to doing the front. Deciding to sort some stuff out before the 2010 PSCA season started, I dug into it this week, and discovered it wasn’t going to work out quite like I expected…

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January 19, 2010

Weep for the innocent rotors…

How did we ever memorialize and share our stupidity before Youtube? I never imagined there would be so many videos of people destroying brakes out there…

First, we start with an actual, professional test of a carbon-carbon F1 setup:


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January 18, 2010

Dyno Disasters, Part II

Since the first installment of Dyno Disasters was such a hit, here’s Part II, featuring cars and trucks blowing up on the dyno instead of falling off. Enjoy!

VTEC is kickin’ in yo!


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December 28, 2009

Snow Fun

I always wonder how, if you can barely get your car to start moving on the ice and snow-covered road, how exactly you think you’ll get it to stop…

Maybe you don’t, and just bail out the door along with your passenger:


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December 26, 2009

Fireworks vs. RC Plane

This is like six different kinds of irresponsible, but still awesome…


A couple of observations - first, it seems like the camera setup can pan, which is pretty cool. Second, I love the way the kids dive out of the way when the plane buzzes them. Finally, they are pretty damn close to hitting it… Thank God for parents like this!

Enjoy it while you still can - It’s only a matter of time before AC/DC’s lawyers DMCA it for the soundtrack.

UPDATE 2/8/10:

I called it… the original video is gone. Here’s the highlights in slow motion, sans offending soundtrack


December 25, 2009

How I spent my Christmas vacation

Filed under: Videos

One of my many random qualifications is that I am a licensed pyrotechnician. For the last 10 years I’ve been working on college bowl games here in San Diego. Here’s the fireworks show from the 2009 Poinsettia Bowl at Qualcomm stadium…


In case you happen to watch next week’s Holiday Bowl, keep an eye on the parking lot just past the main scoreboard during the blimp shots before and after commercial breaks. The flashes of light are us saying hello…

November 21, 2009

Glad I’m not quick, for once…

Filed under: Car Stuff, Videos

So I’m minding my own business, trying to get my fourth qualifying hit in here in Vegas…


…and the guy next to me puts it up HARD on the bumper. Fortunately, he was far enough out ahead of me that even if he’d crossed the center line when he came back down, I would have had plenty of time to react and stay out of his way. It was odd watching him alongside me and in front of me, and even weirder getting passed by the Safety Safari and ambulance going the other direction back up the track. The good news is that he walked away unhurt.

UPDATE 12/7/09

The guy in the other lane, Andrew Osborne out of Denver, Colorado, found me on Youtube and passed along some pictures of the aftermath…

bent caster plates

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Be sure and visit Andrew’s Youtube channel for more videos of his car, with less dramatic endings.

November 13, 2009

Might be cool on a quicker car…

Filed under: Car Stuff, Videos

So, I built myself another camera mount - this one plugs into the hitch receiver on my Mustang, and I’ve been using it to shoot tail chase videos at the track, pointed backwards. I also discovered it works pretty well flipped over, shooting forward under the car…


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November 1, 2009

Dyno Disasters, Part I

Lately, I’ve found a lot of videos on YouTube of cars falling off dynos. Enough that I thought it would be worth putting them all together in one place for your viewing enjoyment…



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October 10, 2009

Avanti!

Filed under: Car Stuff

While visiting my very good pal Randy Panno, proprietor of R&J Auto in scenic Escondido, California, I came across something you don’t see every day - A dragged-out ‘63 Avanti.

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The original Avanti, built for just two model years by Studebaker, was available with powerplants ranging from 240 horsepower for the “base” engine all the way up to the Paxton-supercharged R-2 that was rated at 289, all based on the same 232 cubic inch V-8. The customer car in Randy’s shop still has the factory 232, but with a somewhat stouter Novi head unit pushing boost.

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October 3, 2009

Seems like old times

Filed under: Car Stuff, Videos

Back when I was doing OverRev, I met a lot of cool folks in the sport compact racing world. Unfortunately, with that era at an end, I don’t get to see them too much any more. Imagine my surprise to run into former ProFWD driver Chris Rado and his World Racing team at a PSCA event in Fontana, California…

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May 22, 2009

The Human Slingshot

Filed under: Batshit Insanity, Videos

In the past, I have brought you examples of what occurs in the area of the Venn diagram where technical aptitude, too much free time, and a total disregard for personal safety overlap.

This, however, will be hard to beat:


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May 11, 2009

The War Wagon II - Electric Boogaloo

Filed under: Car Stuff

When we last left off, the trailer was together, and only awaited a way to actually pull it…

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That took the form of a Class I (wheelbarrows, Radio Flyer wagons, and kids on skateboards, age 10 and under) Hidden Hitch from etrailers.com, which goes under the part number 60887 for my particular Mustang. This same hitch is also sold as Reese part number 77029 and Draw-Tite part 24687, which says something about the stranglehold the international hitch cabal has on the market.

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May 3, 2009

The War Wagon

Filed under: Car Stuff

finished trailer front

The last PSCA race in Vegas convinced me that I needed a better way to get my stuff to and from the track, and lock it up while I’m there. I can fit my jack, toolbox, drag radials, helmet, jacket, and spare nitrous bottle in the trunk and back seat, but there’s not much room left for anything else, and once I’m there, a long chain threaded through everything and wrapped around a light pole is the best I can do for security while I’m actually racing. When KJ brings his rig out to Fontana, I can throw my junk in his trailer, but I’d rather not have to mooch a chair and cooler space.
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April 14, 2009

Since when do I know anything about diesels?

Filed under: Car Stuff

Woohoo! My article on upgraded turbos for diesels is on the newsstands….

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April 10, 2009

Obsidian SG-One

Filed under: Car Stuff, Videos

One of the things I love about going down to JBA is that there’s usually something interesting on the dyno. Today, it was the Obsidian SG-One, a unique 1967 Mustang that, according to the builder, has $1.3 million invested. Speed shop general manager and tuning guru Bruce Tucker was on the laptop, tweaking the BigStuff3 standalone to dial it in.

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April 9, 2009

Ken Block Outtakes

A while back, I brought you the Ken Block Gymkhana video that posed the question, “how many cars do you have to wreck to get this good?” Turns out the number is somewhere between zero and one, as you’ll see in the just-released outtakes:

(video after the jump to defeat the obnoxious auto-play)

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March 13, 2009

Back in the Day

Filed under: Car Stuff

Another gem, courtesy of an email forwarded from my dad. This time, it’s vintage drag racing pictures and captions from an unknown source. You may have seen this email floating around - if you have info on where this came from, please pass it along.

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Back in the day, anything was possible. How about an Offy with a side-mounted blower on Ed Donovan’s dragster?

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March 7, 2009

Retrolicious!

Filed under: Car Stuff

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I’m old enough to remember back when every auto parts store had a big barrel full of Cherry Bomb glasspacks sitting up by the registers, like the world’s biggest impulse buy. Today, the merchandising is slightly more sophisticated, but the mufflers and the sound are still the same. Since I’m always looking for ways to screw up my perfectly good 2004 Mustang V6 coupe, I’ve had an itch to throw a glasspack on in place of the 2-into-1 stock exhaust. I had no idea whether it would work any better, or even whether or not it would sound like ass. But it seemed like an easy project, and the parts were cheap, so I dove in. Here’s how it went:

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February 24, 2009

Barbie’s Dream Jeep

Winter does funny things to people. All that bad weather, stuck inside, you might take it in mind to join the body from a kid’s ride-on F150 to an ATV chassis, or put a big gas engine on a Barbie Jeep. You might even discover your friends have all had the same idea…


February 6, 2009

SS/EX

Filed under: Car Stuff

At the Winternats in Pomona yesterday, former NHRA Sport Compact All Motor racer Scott Kelley made the first pass in the new SS/EX class. The class was basically created at the request of racers to give all the orphaned FWD N/A cars a place to race now that NHRASC and NDRA are dead. They’ll be offering the class at all the Lucas Oil points races this season, and some of the NHRA pro races. Cars must be naturally aspirated, full-body, FWD, methanol only, and weigh 11.5 or more pounds per cubic inch. The class index is a 10.20 at the moment, and Scott ran 9.687 on his first hit.

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January 29, 2009

Way better than NASCAR

Filed under: Batshit Insanity, Videos

Why settle for the metaphorical chariot racing of stock car competition when we could be watching the real thing? This is pure, condensed awesomeness.



Motorized dueling chariots!

Who are these guys? Why did they do this? Kudos for the period-correct driving suits, as well… Turns out it’s not exactly a new idea, though:
Vintage motorized chariot racing

January 27, 2009

Nitrous with a Happy Ending

Filed under: Car Stuff

It’s not a good idea to wire around your bottle heater’s thermostat so that it stays on all the time. You WILL forget you left it turned on, and the nitrous bottle WILL overheat. If you haven’t abused the bottle with a torch at some point in the past, and you took the time to actually install a blowdown tube, all that happens is a loud whooshing noise, frost on the tube, and a trip to the local speed shop to get a replacement burst disc and a refill…

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January 26, 2009

Lugnut Fail

Filed under: Car Stuff, Videos

I can understand forgetting to put them on one. But all four?

January 23, 2009

(insert “Shoulda made a left at Albuquerque” joke here)

Filed under: Car Stuff, Videos

A couple of thoughts on this video: One, this is why I always wear a helmet, even in a fifteen-second car, and two, are the retaining walls in New Mexico made from drywall or something? A faster car would have gone right through…



06 Mustang Bullitt wreck at the drag strip

January 21, 2009

James Huizenga’s Wild Kingdom

Filed under: Uncategorized

So today, my mom was going through old photo albums, and came across a couple of pictures that I didn’t even remember existed. I’ve told the story behind them so many times that some people I’ve never even met have heard it, friend-of-a-friend style. The photos have inspired me to repeat the tale one more time, with visual aids…

The year was 1986. It was no longer cool for a man to own a pair of checkered pants, or have a perm, but you know how dads are. One way my dad differed from yours, though, was the fact that he had a koi pond in the back yard - still does, as a matter of fact. Unfortunately for the Japanese carp living in that pond, various suburban wildlife would try to make a meal from them on occasion, and that summer had seen some successful predation from cats and possums. To put an end to the neighborhood animals using the pond as a fishing hole, my dad put out a live-capture trap baited with peanut butter, the idea being to humanely catch and relocate the worst offenders.

The first few days came up empty, but late one night, he heard the sound of the trap door snapping shut, and went outside to investigate. Not a cat. Not a possum. A skunk.

The only thing worse than a skunk in the backyard is a skunk in a trap in the backyard. What do you do with it? My dad approached cautiously, steering clear of the business end, to try to figure out what to do. As he got closer, the skunk seemed completely calm, and my dad worked up the confidence to try picking up the trap and moving it. When this didn’t set the skunk off, so to speak, he took it around to the front yard, got some string, and tied the handle of the cage to the passenger doorhandle of his ancient Volvo 122S. With the skunk lashed to the side of the car, he drove to a canyon a few miles away, untied the still-placid skunk, set the trap down, opened the door, and backed cautiously away.

Much to his relief, the skunk ambled out of the trap and into the bushes without incident.

A few days later, on a Sunday morning, the trap was once again full of fresh skunk. Brimming with confidence based on his previous experience, my dad approached the trap, picked it up, and tied it to the door handle of the car without getting nuked. Since the first skunk episode had happened late at night and nobody had seen it, he took this opportunity to let the next-door neighbor, who was getting ready for church, come out and see it. She had the good sense to grab a camera, and got this photo:

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Then, she suggested that my dad get close enough to be in the picture as well.

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Literally moments after the shutter closed, it happened. The neighbor (in her Sunday best) got it, and my dad got it. Some in his beard..

A hasty retreat to the garage was made, where he stripped off and bagged the clothes he was wearing (not a moment too soon), and decontaminated himself as best he could with canned tomato juice. Returning to the car, the skunk was once again calm, and my dad, with newfound caution, got in and drove off to release this one as well. On the way, he came up to a stoplight with another car on his right, and the driver kept looking at my dad, then at the skunk, then back to my dad. With great presence of mind, Dad reached over, rolled down his window, and said, “Hey Mister! Want a kitty?”

The story has a happy ending, and a lesson to be learned. My dad released the second skunk without further grief, put the trap away and covered the pond with netting instead, and passes the following advice along to all of you:

Skunks don’t mind being trapped, tied to the side of a car, having their picture taken, or driven five miles to be released - just don’t try to pose with them!

January 19, 2009

And in those days, there were giants in the earth…

The car - a 600-horsepower Group B Audi S1 Quattro.

The driver - Walter Rohrl


Any wonder why this class only lasted from 1982 to 1986?

January 15, 2009

Hopey Changemas!

Filed under: Batshit Insanity

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It’s just a small preview of the rainbow-powered unicorn factories and strawberry-scented welfare checks to come over the next four years, but on Inauguration Day, Krispy Kreme is giving everybody a free donut to celebrate. No word on whether you’ll be required to dip your finger in blue ink to prevent cheating…

Fast and Furious - Now with extra Diesel!

Filed under: Car Stuff, Videos

Two days late for April Fools’ Day, it will arrive:


Will the combination of product placements (note the NOS Energy Drink signs in the trailer), action set pieces lifted from other films (anybody remember the first scene of The Matrix?), goofy stunts (gotta time it just right to get under the burning tanker!), unlikely street racing, and the original cast blend? Yes, Vin Diesel and Paul Walker reprise their unconsumated cryptohomoerotic relationship from the first movie, with Michelle Rodriguez, fresh off of “Lost” and a Hawaiian DUI, once again cast against type as a woman, and that chick who played Diesel’s sister in the first movie who’s name I dare you to remember is back again as an unconvincing beard for Walker’s character.

Should be fun. I’ll watch it…

January 4, 2009

Godzilla: Will it Blend?

Filed under: Car Stuff, Videos

What must it be like to be internet superstar Tom Dixon, of “Will it Blend?” At least he’s got good taste in cars, as shown in this video, where he straps a crash helmet on one of his überblenders and takes it for a spin in a GT-R…


Another near miss

Filed under: Car Stuff, Videos

What can stop an out-of-control Jeep from plowing right into a gas station? America’s best-selling vehicle, the Ford F150, that’s what!

January 3, 2009

Close, but no cigar

You may recall the video of Rhys Millen trying to kill himself practicing for last year’s aborted truck flip attempt. Well, this year he did it. Sort of.


ProTip: When your sponsor puts their logo on the underside of your vehicle, it’s time to rethink your profession.

December 22, 2008

Like drifting, only cool

How many cars do you have to totally destroy to get to this level of skill?

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December 21, 2008

Homebrew

Filed under: Uncategorized

A couple weeks ago, I got the itch to make some beer. I used to homebrew with my dad all the time, but it’s been years since we’ve made a batch. So I called him up and asked him to dig out all the equipment. In amongst it was the notebook he kept when we first started - the opening entry was dated 1992! So anyway, we got the ingredients, and set to brewing…

Sprint PictureMail

First, the steeping grains soak, until the water reaches 170 degrees.

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December 16, 2008

Your new car is ready, Mr. Bond…

Filed under: Car Stuff

One of my co-workers, the intrepid David Wong, came across this scene of misfortune just a few blocks from the office. From the looks of it, the folding end of the lift broke off, and the car slid bass-ackward onto the pavement. The poor delivery guy apparently left in the back of an ambulance after riding the Aston to the ground.






















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