It's said that Ernest Hemingway thought that the best story he'd ever written was just six words long:
"For sale: Baby shoes, never worn."
In that spirit, I present an anthology of Six Word Stories for your entertainment. Authors are as credited, with the rest being my own personal handiwork.
"Californicating" was the club's favorite portmanteau (Christopher Bain)
“I’m alone” they said. We nodded (Scott Bain)
“Left, right, right,” and they tumbled (Scott Bain)
A rubber skeleton provided the advantage (Christopher Bain)
A weird buzzing emitted from Cornelius (Christopher Bain)
Actually, the Nazis loved sending flowers (Christopher Bain)
After the love came the stench (Jason Reiss)
Another dress ruined by Aunt Flo
Anyone could see he was gay
Arturo studied Zen though the internet (Scott Bain)
Aunt Flo’s visit was a relief
Blimp crash: Hard not to watch (Chris Vopat)
Bob attributed his loneliness to hairballs (Christopher Bain)
Broken glass was the first clue
Cal decided to chrome his penis (Christopher Bain)
Carnage? I thought those were flowers (Scott Bain)
I probably never outgrew “hall monitor” (Scott Bain)
James reconsidered his status as “alive” (Scott Bain)
Hector checked all the boxes randomly (Scott Bain)
The doorman actually enjoyed moist handshakes (Scott Bain)
Actually, sleeping dogs are particularly honest (Scott Bain)
A beard undistinguishable from testicle hair (Scott Bain)
Her piercings made too much noise (Scott Bain)
It’s not edible, but it’s motionless (Scott Bain)
Al forgot to get an education (Scott Bain)
Jesus had a great posthumous publicist (Scott Bain)
The razor blade suspenders proved unwise (Scott Bain)
The safe answer is always “fine” (Scott Bain)
I prefer girls over the covers (Scott Bain)
Never eat the things you’ve lost (Scott Bain)
No laws apply inside a volcano (Scott Bain)
Christmas wasn’t the same after that
Circumcision rule: Measure twice, cut once
Daddy, please stop! she whispered seductively
Dale winked. Artie flinched. Frank exploded. (Christopher Bain)
Dead hobos were just the beginning (Chris Vopat)
Despite hydraulics, the clam remained sealed (Christopher Bain)
Dirt clod? Where was the cat? (Christopher Bain)
Don’t know why I’m leaking fluid (Chris Vopat)
East, until the gas runs out
Explosive earwax was hardly rock music (Christopher Bain)
Fidel Castro decided to step down (Christopher Bain)
For Rent: Nobody’s died here – yet (Jackie Stockman)
Fraser picked up the glowing wad (Christopher Bain)
General Marshall was a tall order (Scott Bain)
Good thing dogs like peanut butter (Chris Vopat)
Handjobs aren’t really all that satisfying (Chris Vopat)
Hatches sealed, the water inexorably rose
He found the pumpkin quite attractive (Christopher Bain)
He furiously buckled his futility belt (Christopher Bain)
He surveyed the bowl with pride (Troy Avent)
He took it out and smiled (Chris Vopat)
His beard remained glazed and pointy (Christopher Bain)
I can still taste his dick
I know it’s around here somewhere…
I think haikus never get old (Christopher Bain)
I think I blocked it out (Jason Reiss)
I though that brownie tasted funny…
I was right up front, unfortunately
I’m too fat to reach there (Chris Vopat)
It tasted better the week before (Chris Vopat)
It was a trial separation. Whee! (Christopher Bain)
It was too big to flush (Chris Vopat)
It wasn't her finger after all (Christopher Bain)
Jesus helped with the talent show (Christopher Bain)
Jesus was mad, and why not?
Jimbo was flummoxed by the Citroen (Christopher Bain)
Life’s in the meantime, on average (Scott Bain)
Milking a bear: Possible, but unwise
Murdering hobos had lost its thrill
My clown makeup smelled like trout (Christopher Bain)
My jihad made other people sad (Chris Vopat)
No child escaped his amorous advances (Chris Vopat)
Normally, they’ll remove a gangrenous limb (Scott Sparrow)
Osama graciously accepted President Gore’s surrender
Pilots dead, the airliner flew on
Planned Parenthood wouldn’t give me rubbers (Jason Reiss)
Political parties were usually discouraged afterward (Scott Bain)
Pork!?! A fatwa on your ass!
Pornography is the easy way out (Chris Vopat)
Raped to death by migrant workers
Repopulating the Earth made them sore
Sadly, Hannibal gave her every chance (Scott Bain)
Satan asked politely for more cigarettes (Christopher Bain)
Save the last bullet for yourself (Scott Sparrow)
Science fiction movies: Better than religion (Parker Stockman)
She put gloves on the thought (Scott Bain)
She said “yes”, but he balked
She sheepishly removed his sticky residue (Chris Vopat)
She stopped loving him years ago
Shore leave wasn't big with gays (Christopher Bain)
Something in my shoes besides feet (Scott Bain)
Tacos, please – Make them “to go” (Jackie Stockman)
That taste was all too familiar (Chris Vopat)
The alcove was a secret world (Scott Bain)
The astronauts realized they were Chinese (Christopher Bain)
The bank repossessed my new tattoo
The bare wires proved too tempting (Chris Vopat)
The bride’s penis was a surprise
The DNA evidence was awfully funny (Scott Bain)
The flames consumed what was left
The gigantic crew filmed his solitude (Scott Bain)
The lavatory’s occupied, and I’m crowning
The moon was ripe and hairy (Christopher Bain)
The paper colostomy bags never sold (Scott Bain)
The placenta was all they found
The priest meant every other word (Scott Bain)
The problem was the furry aftertaste (Scott Bain)
The senator tapped his foot anxiously (Christopher Bain)
The smell wasn’t the worst part
The turd’s source remained a mystery
The war was suddenly too long (Scott Bain)
The worst part was the smell
The wrongness of it pleases me
Their talk just made things worse
Then she secretly looked up "spunk" (Christopher Bain)
They worried about the taco filling (Scott Bain)
This should come with a gasket (Chris Vopat)
Try to get loose now, fucker! (Chris Vopat)
Turkeys take longer than she thought
Unfortunately, Donut is not a “closer.”
Usually, women thank me for that (Chris Vopat)
Wanted: Bored housewife club member, stat! (Jason Reiss)
Where does the bloody trail lead? (Jason Reiss)
Why did you skip the retard? (Chris Vopat)
Yeast smell? Maybe I’d better not (Chris Vopat)
You’ll never get that smell out (Chris Vopat)
Zachary bought almonds from ass clowns (Scott Bain)
